Lessons Learned so Far - Teacher Training Program
So complete and total failure is not something I'm used to. But it's good for everyone at some point, I suppose. It's humbling, it's eye-opening, you learn a lot, and the most valuable is that you learn a lot about yourself. After going through this experience, I have some new thoughts and opinions about training programs, but mostly about myself and what I want to spend my time doing.
In trying to attempt a teacher training program, I came across many challenges. What depth of material should be presented? There are teachers who only have a limited background in aerial arts, and they are coming for an overview of the basics. They need things broken down into their smallest components, and built from scratch in order to truly see the technique. Many are coming to teacher trainings just to "get the certification" and they are not hungry for information. They already know much of the basics of teaching. It is obvious that one standardized teacher training program is not really reasonable. The only way it works is if you allow experienced teachers to get ahead in the program, so that they are not wasting their time, frustrated going over what they already know. You can't start the training at their level because there are those who really need the basics. This kind of customization is difficult to do from the get-go. It takes a huge community to multi-layer the program, and I'm not that community. I thrive working one-on-one with individuals. I love meeting people wherever they are at, and moving them forward from that spot. I have always enjoyed small groups and private lessons for this reason, and I realize that I need to remain working in smaller settings, not try to tackle large numbers. It's just not my thing. I don't have a grand formula that makes everyone happy. I'm not a crowd-pleaser. I'm a relationship-builder. And if people don't want ME, then they really aren't going to be happy with what I present. I'm not good at presenting for the masses and making blanket statements and blanket formulas that is supposed to work for everyone.
I enjoy engaging people in the creative process of dance. As most of the circus community lacks background in this unique blend of educational methods, its a hard thing to start a new way of thinking and a new perspective of the aerial arts when you only plan on meeting for a limited time period. It's just too big a mountain to climb in such a short period. I could do a workshop and let people EXPERIENCE it, but I can't try to teach the experience and teach how to teach it in that amount of time. It's very involved, and requires so many subtleties to execute with any proficient level of style and grace. I thought that if most of the people coming into my training had a significant background in aerial already, then we could focus on the finer details of teaching someone how to learn beyond the tricks, and take it to the artistic performance. But, many people coming into a short-term teacher training program (2 weeks or less) aren't looking to study aerial to that kind of depth. They are more likely to be the gym owner, the pole dancer, the aerial yoga enthusiast, etc, who is looking to add aerial silks or aerial hoop into their already ongoing business. In other words, it's more likely to be a business endeavor, not an artistic endeavor. It's more likely that they want the certificate for insurance purposes or to say that they are certified way more than they want a solid artistic creative vision. Going into this program, I knew that. I thought we could compromise. I can still teach moves in their basic outline and teach how to teach them safely. I can always do workshops on the creative method later, but the problem - for me - is that I can't break apart the two. When I teach beginning students, I feel it is important that they get a creative process as soon as possible. I teach creatively, I teach artistically, I teach in the flow. And so to break apart the flow and just teach the moves - the tricks - is just not me. There isn't time to do both in a teacher training program that is so short. Others who do not engage in the creative process so in depth are going to be better suited for leading and teaching these kinds of programs. The level of depth with which I love to teach and engage is not suited for this setting.
I have always said that I never want Aerial Dance to be my profession. I want it to be a hobby, and I think that the jump into teacher training programs suddenly made it into a profession. I was the "expert" and supposed to be the professional. I've never felt like a professional aerial dancer, and never will. I just love to do it and that's the end of it. I have knowledge of the moves like nobody's business, and I went into the teacher training program out of a desire to share my love of teaching the intricacies, but not everyone is on the same page as me. It's hard to understand the perspective I come from without seeing the whole program - seeing what I teach, how I teach it, how I progress it, and it's hard to get that across verbally - esp when dance is the language you speak. I've never been good at words (ironic - i know - since I've written books on this stuff - but somehow that's its own thing...). I'd rather dance my sentence at you. I'm not really good at articulating what I know and understand about aerial dance. I just do it, and lead by example. That doesn't work so well in condensed format. It takes a semester to truly see the whole program form and develop. To appreciate it and value the process.
Also, a teacher training program should include a well-structured outline of curriculum and moves. The programs that I have run in the past include mostly beginning/intermediate aerial moves because the advanced part was the performance technique that was applied to them. I love the experimental side of aerial dance. I love DANCE. I have never gotten on board with the circus side - the tricks. I am forcing myself to methodically go through the tricks as I make my way through writing the Aerial Dance Manual Series - and don't get me wrong - it's an awesome journey, but at the end of the day, I can't WAIT to toss away all the moves and just DANCE. I know it will be a few years before I get to this point, but I feel it in my blood that this is my life's calling. The teacher training program has too much structure for me to handle. While I work well with structure, I work even better with freedom and self expression, working with individuals, and drawing out their unique style. The only way to truly learn what I offer is to immerse yourself in it. I want people to come and SOAK. I feel the value in soak time whenever I think about my past students. There are so many times along the learning process where digestion is important, and a quick & dirty training program simply doesn't allow for the right amount of soak time. You need hours, months, at least a year or two. If I do any sort of teacher training program in the future, it will only be through apprenticeship at my own personal studio, training those who have worked by my side and have not only the head knowledge, but the heart behind it.
Another reason I realized I cannot do a teacher training program is that I am sick of the moves. That sounds awful, but it's true. My teaching is not trick-based, it's dance-based, and its difficult to get people away from their tradition of trick-learning. I think that many people crave the artistic side, but a teacher training isn't the time and place to be training dance. I knew that people coming into the program would be expect to work on tricks, so it's not like I taught them something different than what was expected, but I felt like I was selling my soul. I wasn't being me. I was being who I thought everyone wanted, and that is a recipe for disaster. I wanted to help. I wanted to say yes to everyone asking for the training. But, they don't really understand me and what they are getting when they want me to train them. This is obvious the second they ask me to teach them a new drop. I don't do drops. In fact, I rarely even teach them in my curriculum! That's a whole other reason I really shouldn't be teaching others how to teach them. I not even interested in them! What was I thinking!?
I am intense. I am quiet, but it makes me all the more fierce. I am passionate. I don't wear out. My stamina is ridiculous. I have high expectations - always meeting you where you at, rejoicing over every crawling step, but never satisfied until you can run. I am thorough - I will not doing something less than complete. I give suggestions that are unconventional. I go against the grain. I enjoy being free. I enjoy the wind in my hair, the breeze at my back, and I don't do well with being boxed in to "should's and should not's." While I appreciate the importance of safety, I'm not interested in getting tied up in making laws, liability, and setting standards. I'd rather leave that job - and those discussions - for somebody else. I just want to go dance and feel the joy in movement. Somewhere along the way, I've lost that joy.
I want to be free to be me. I want to create new things, not keep regurgitating the same old facts & standards again and again. I think it is better for me to start a company that creates new work than create a teacher training program. That's how I feel at this point in time. I'm tired of being misunderstood, I'm tired of trying to live to please others, I'm tired of feeling like this is my job. Its taken all the fun out of it. I'm desiring to go back to my heart and follow my passions. I can't be boxed and sold. Here's to the DANCE in aerial dance. Here's to staying true to my soul. Here's to keeping this a hobby...doing what I want, when I want, and however it feels right in the moment. Sorry, but I am not a professional aerialist, just a hobbyist. I'm going to stick to my dabbling.
In trying to attempt a teacher training program, I came across many challenges. What depth of material should be presented? There are teachers who only have a limited background in aerial arts, and they are coming for an overview of the basics. They need things broken down into their smallest components, and built from scratch in order to truly see the technique. Many are coming to teacher trainings just to "get the certification" and they are not hungry for information. They already know much of the basics of teaching. It is obvious that one standardized teacher training program is not really reasonable. The only way it works is if you allow experienced teachers to get ahead in the program, so that they are not wasting their time, frustrated going over what they already know. You can't start the training at their level because there are those who really need the basics. This kind of customization is difficult to do from the get-go. It takes a huge community to multi-layer the program, and I'm not that community. I thrive working one-on-one with individuals. I love meeting people wherever they are at, and moving them forward from that spot. I have always enjoyed small groups and private lessons for this reason, and I realize that I need to remain working in smaller settings, not try to tackle large numbers. It's just not my thing. I don't have a grand formula that makes everyone happy. I'm not a crowd-pleaser. I'm a relationship-builder. And if people don't want ME, then they really aren't going to be happy with what I present. I'm not good at presenting for the masses and making blanket statements and blanket formulas that is supposed to work for everyone.
I enjoy engaging people in the creative process of dance. As most of the circus community lacks background in this unique blend of educational methods, its a hard thing to start a new way of thinking and a new perspective of the aerial arts when you only plan on meeting for a limited time period. It's just too big a mountain to climb in such a short period. I could do a workshop and let people EXPERIENCE it, but I can't try to teach the experience and teach how to teach it in that amount of time. It's very involved, and requires so many subtleties to execute with any proficient level of style and grace. I thought that if most of the people coming into my training had a significant background in aerial already, then we could focus on the finer details of teaching someone how to learn beyond the tricks, and take it to the artistic performance. But, many people coming into a short-term teacher training program (2 weeks or less) aren't looking to study aerial to that kind of depth. They are more likely to be the gym owner, the pole dancer, the aerial yoga enthusiast, etc, who is looking to add aerial silks or aerial hoop into their already ongoing business. In other words, it's more likely to be a business endeavor, not an artistic endeavor. It's more likely that they want the certificate for insurance purposes or to say that they are certified way more than they want a solid artistic creative vision. Going into this program, I knew that. I thought we could compromise. I can still teach moves in their basic outline and teach how to teach them safely. I can always do workshops on the creative method later, but the problem - for me - is that I can't break apart the two. When I teach beginning students, I feel it is important that they get a creative process as soon as possible. I teach creatively, I teach artistically, I teach in the flow. And so to break apart the flow and just teach the moves - the tricks - is just not me. There isn't time to do both in a teacher training program that is so short. Others who do not engage in the creative process so in depth are going to be better suited for leading and teaching these kinds of programs. The level of depth with which I love to teach and engage is not suited for this setting.
I have always said that I never want Aerial Dance to be my profession. I want it to be a hobby, and I think that the jump into teacher training programs suddenly made it into a profession. I was the "expert" and supposed to be the professional. I've never felt like a professional aerial dancer, and never will. I just love to do it and that's the end of it. I have knowledge of the moves like nobody's business, and I went into the teacher training program out of a desire to share my love of teaching the intricacies, but not everyone is on the same page as me. It's hard to understand the perspective I come from without seeing the whole program - seeing what I teach, how I teach it, how I progress it, and it's hard to get that across verbally - esp when dance is the language you speak. I've never been good at words (ironic - i know - since I've written books on this stuff - but somehow that's its own thing...). I'd rather dance my sentence at you. I'm not really good at articulating what I know and understand about aerial dance. I just do it, and lead by example. That doesn't work so well in condensed format. It takes a semester to truly see the whole program form and develop. To appreciate it and value the process.
Also, a teacher training program should include a well-structured outline of curriculum and moves. The programs that I have run in the past include mostly beginning/intermediate aerial moves because the advanced part was the performance technique that was applied to them. I love the experimental side of aerial dance. I love DANCE. I have never gotten on board with the circus side - the tricks. I am forcing myself to methodically go through the tricks as I make my way through writing the Aerial Dance Manual Series - and don't get me wrong - it's an awesome journey, but at the end of the day, I can't WAIT to toss away all the moves and just DANCE. I know it will be a few years before I get to this point, but I feel it in my blood that this is my life's calling. The teacher training program has too much structure for me to handle. While I work well with structure, I work even better with freedom and self expression, working with individuals, and drawing out their unique style. The only way to truly learn what I offer is to immerse yourself in it. I want people to come and SOAK. I feel the value in soak time whenever I think about my past students. There are so many times along the learning process where digestion is important, and a quick & dirty training program simply doesn't allow for the right amount of soak time. You need hours, months, at least a year or two. If I do any sort of teacher training program in the future, it will only be through apprenticeship at my own personal studio, training those who have worked by my side and have not only the head knowledge, but the heart behind it.
Another reason I realized I cannot do a teacher training program is that I am sick of the moves. That sounds awful, but it's true. My teaching is not trick-based, it's dance-based, and its difficult to get people away from their tradition of trick-learning. I think that many people crave the artistic side, but a teacher training isn't the time and place to be training dance. I knew that people coming into the program would be expect to work on tricks, so it's not like I taught them something different than what was expected, but I felt like I was selling my soul. I wasn't being me. I was being who I thought everyone wanted, and that is a recipe for disaster. I wanted to help. I wanted to say yes to everyone asking for the training. But, they don't really understand me and what they are getting when they want me to train them. This is obvious the second they ask me to teach them a new drop. I don't do drops. In fact, I rarely even teach them in my curriculum! That's a whole other reason I really shouldn't be teaching others how to teach them. I not even interested in them! What was I thinking!?
I am intense. I am quiet, but it makes me all the more fierce. I am passionate. I don't wear out. My stamina is ridiculous. I have high expectations - always meeting you where you at, rejoicing over every crawling step, but never satisfied until you can run. I am thorough - I will not doing something less than complete. I give suggestions that are unconventional. I go against the grain. I enjoy being free. I enjoy the wind in my hair, the breeze at my back, and I don't do well with being boxed in to "should's and should not's." While I appreciate the importance of safety, I'm not interested in getting tied up in making laws, liability, and setting standards. I'd rather leave that job - and those discussions - for somebody else. I just want to go dance and feel the joy in movement. Somewhere along the way, I've lost that joy.
I want to be free to be me. I want to create new things, not keep regurgitating the same old facts & standards again and again. I think it is better for me to start a company that creates new work than create a teacher training program. That's how I feel at this point in time. I'm tired of being misunderstood, I'm tired of trying to live to please others, I'm tired of feeling like this is my job. Its taken all the fun out of it. I'm desiring to go back to my heart and follow my passions. I can't be boxed and sold. Here's to the DANCE in aerial dance. Here's to staying true to my soul. Here's to keeping this a hobby...doing what I want, when I want, and however it feels right in the moment. Sorry, but I am not a professional aerialist, just a hobbyist. I'm going to stick to my dabbling.